Failure

I feel like the biggest failure. I graduated from the SBU education department and have no job, no prospects, and no idea where I am going to live. Do I bum off my mom who can't afford it or my grandparents who will make me feel like a failure daily? Everyone says they are proud of me yet, my mom just told me to get a fast food job for now? An SBU education department grad working in fast food is the biggest failure ever! So now I just sit and pray I can sub and find something or someone. Oh yeah did I mention I am 23 and only sort of dated 1 guy ever. He was an idiot in high school that I never dated for more than 2 months at a time and would cheat on me constantly. Yep, I am doing so great in the world right now. 

Patience

Patience. People say I have none. Have they met my mother? She has a lot less than me! A lot! People wonder why I am impatient. It is because of my mother. 

Snow in may?

Welcome to Missouri, if you don't like the weather wait a min. It will change. This week has been proof. The beginning of the week was cool and cloudy. Middle of the week sunny and hot. End of the week snow. Legit snow. I had to clear my car off Friday to get to class and it snowed huge flakes all day! I have a sun burn and it was snowing. This is stupid.

Chapel lobby

Oh how I love giving up my time to help another student when they do not show up. No I have nothing to do today besides sit her waiting for you. Oh wait, there are a million things for me to do right now. All I ask for is a simple text or a tweet or a Facebook message or something to let me know you can't make it. But that must be to hard between tweeting about not doing your work and going to the lake.

Math Building Computer Lab

Oh yes I love the Math Building Computer Lab. Yes I am sitting in it right now. Yes it is 8:22 pm. Yes I am procrastinating actual homework. Yes the homework is due tomorrow. No I do not understand it. Yes it will be a late night. Yes I want to be working on almost anything else besides homework. Yes I have other things I can be doing. Yes I did get sun burnt from being outside today. No I do not regret it. Yes I am ready for spring, Yes tomorrow it is supposed to rain and be cold. Yes I am upset about it. No I am not as upset as the other Stacey. Yes I have a friend named Stacey. Yes we hang out often. Yes we also work together. Yes we eat lunch with usually just me and Stacey and Ben her boyfriend. Yes I am actually going to get off the computer and do homework now after I grab a sweet tea. Yes I am obsessed with sweet tea. No there is no other tea.

Life

So I have 2 weeks of actual classes and 1 week of finals. I have a million and 8 things to do as well. I also spend most of last week at home with my mother at the hospital. I am so stressed out. I have so much to do and no time to do it. Everyone keeps saying just 3 more weeks and what they don't realize is getting through those 3 weeks seems so impossible.

Defiant

I found out this morning my mother was in the hospital for what feels like the millionth time in the past year. I was also told by my mother not to leave school early. I am planning on going home this weekend anyways. My grandmother then told me not to leave. I tend to not listen to them very well anyways but this was not what I wanted to hear. All I want to do is be defiant and go home. I hate being told what to not do. I hate being told what is best for me. They might not know what the best thing for me is.